The Chaotix are the Worst Thing Ever
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: The most delectable fic of all time. Critics are raving for some reason. Morgan Freeman wants it adapted into a full-on documentary. It brought Eddie the Gerbil back to life. It inspired Gordon Ramsey to love every meal ever. It shouted out to Simpleflips. Truly the greatest feat of humanity!


Espio's nose was on fire. "My gorgeous horn!" he cried in desperation. "This is most unfortunate, eh?"

"I do say that is so, my dumb chap," replied Charmy in a semi-rude manner.

Vector was in the corner thinking about goat cheese as he cut up a purple zucchini. "Let's do better, okay?"

"Are you saying a bad thing to me, Vector?" quietly roared Espio's tenacity.

"Glory, no!" responded Vector's heart.

"Good thing too, otherwise Espio would have clocked your noggin, Vex," giggled Charmy as he spoonfed a cockroach.

Vector eyed the young bee and then returned to his zucchini. "Heavens protect my blessed soul…"

Espio belched and then pulled out a souvenir he had received from Gangplank Galleon. Vector's father King K. Rool had died there due to low ratings from IGN. _I must protect Vector and his headphones, but I severely dislike his attitude…_ he thought in deep detail to himself. He wondered if telepathy could move mountains.

Vector belched into a candle and it blew out the light due to force and condition.

"Buttz, man…" whined Chamy. He kicked Vector and Vector's booty went WOOOOOOOOO!

"Charmy, don't kick him," mumbled Espio, but in reluctance because he liked seeing the fat crocodile get walloped.

"Okay, Espio. I will be generous and forgive myself, but I will still kick him if the time is peak."

"I have no qualms pertaining to those conditions, Charmy."

"I love you, bro."

"Right back at ya, slick."

Vector belched again and a fully-formed fudge brownie slipped out of his esophagus.

"Vector, what be that, mate?" pondered Charmy allowed.

Vector felt a bizarre sensation in his gut. "I was just trying to help…" he whimpered.

"'SUP HOMIES!" cried Sonic like a rabid pelican as he barged through the door like a Charging Chuck.

"Use the doorbell next time, Sonic," requested Charmy. He knew a lot about manners that Sonic seemed to fail at most of the time.

Vector looked at Sonic and coughed up another brownie. This one had an eerie green mist imbuing from its chocolatey pores. The scent disgraced Espio under the horn. Sonic approached the delectable mound of fudge and daintily placed it on the tip of his own tongue. He slid the load down and took a step back, folding his arms in keen satisfaction. "Got any more of them, Vex?"

Vector gave Sonic a weak grin and then turned around to face Sonic with his back. "Do you see my red spines, Sonikku?" he stated appreciatively.

"Look at those. I just wanna lick it all and then like it on Facebook, my guy!"

"You may lick each one, but you need to use safety goggles!" cried Charmy. He kicked Vector in the face. The force from the kick was strong enough to send all of Vector's teeth out of his face. The teeth bounced off of the walls like an overhyped two-year-old and collided with Sonic's shoes. The shoes were penetrated to the sock. Sonic felt the horrid pain and keeled over.

"He is dead…" said Espio taking an emotional sip of his chai tea.

"Blimey!" cried Vector. "Why did you have to go and do that, CHAHMEE?"

"I did it to protect hearts and love," said Charmy. He attractively flew up to Vector's pretty face and gave him the best noogie ever. "Good noogie, right?"

"I love it, Charmy."

"Call me 'Carmichael' from now on, my dude."

"What a hot alias," mused Espio. He took out a huge tub of mayonnaise and proceeded to schmear it all over Sonic's corpse. "We eat healthy tonight, brethren."

"Wow," said Charmy. "Hot stuff is cookin' in this bungalow, amiright, homeboys?"

"Exquisite connection you made there, kid," said Vector.

"I want to be the very best like no one ever was…" lightly sang Espio.

Vector hushed Espio by sticking Charmy's left pinky in his nostril. "The fellas are bros tonight, SBO."

Espio cocked a silly grin. "Buttz, man. You always know just what to say, dontcha?"

"And I love it!" cheered Charmy.

THE END


End file.
